the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
