Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
