a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
