This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
