Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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