So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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