just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize