Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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