ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
