Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
the condom got lost in my hair
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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