I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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