just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
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Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
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I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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