Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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