oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
