yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
