how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
