I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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