Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize