I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
