the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
