The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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