Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
