I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My vagina is officially offended.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
