New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
