Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
