Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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