she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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