Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
