I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
