Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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