meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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