Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
