You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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