So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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