i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
