I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I feel like abortions should bother me more
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
