you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
