I CAN MOONWALK!
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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