It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
