party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
