i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize