I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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