i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
