I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
