Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just gift wrapped bread.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
