I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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