im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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