Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
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