kristin has been a bad kristin
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
