Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
