I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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