He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
