New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
