You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
