In the future we'll all be gay
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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