haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
