so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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