i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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