omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
