I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
